Empty

It's hard to believe that two weeks ago today, I had a very special baby growing inside me. 

Very special. An angel, even.

At 20 weeks and 6 days she left us. Left me. 

My body feels empty. I felt twinges about 10 days before we lost Anna. I thought that was a sign from her that everything was alright. I couldn't sleep on my right side because my Meatball didn't like that. I even got heartburn if I ate spicy food. 

I miss it all. But mostly, I miss the feeling of her growing inside me. Resting a hand on my belly, as if reassuring us both that everything would be okay. 

Placing my hand there now is just met with a hand on skin. There's nothing under there except for organs.

Others who have felt my loss will know how it is. To the mothers of healthy babies? Cherish every moment. I don't want you to ever be in my place.